towel monkies

I was once solidly in the ‘Oh my word, pregnant ladies think everything revolves around their pregnant bodies’ camp, and I was confident that all the moaning and finger pointing that’s done is purely an act, you know, to bring themselves a little attention. As if you can really blame your stuffy nose on pregnancy.Oh look how long my nails are! Must be those prenatal vitamins.Darn breakouts – all because my hormones are whacked.My wedding ring has gotten so tight it hurts because my hands are swollen.Boo hoo hoo.And then, I experienced all of the above. In fact, my wedding band, which is 1/2 size smaller than my engagement ring, now lives a secluded life on a ring holder on my bedside table, pushed aside by increased blood flow and water retention (fear not, I wear my bling/engagement ring daily, but it has been notably tighter as of late).Ok, so maybe there’s validity to those complaints, but that’s surely as far as the list could go, I said.¬† Wrong. I present to you, my night life: My dreams are more bizarre, intricate, and realistic than I’ve ever experienced.And so, in place of the well-loved Toddler Tales installments from when I worked as a preschool teacher (Sorry. I know they made awesome stories, but I just wasn’t cut out to get paid a dollar an hour per unruly child in my care), I give you:Allison’s Epic Dreams (pt.1)Setting: Choir Cruise circa 2003, only this time it wasn’t the choir cruise. Same boat and room, but I was just on a cruise with two friends from high school.Context: Friend J was getting married on the ship and friend A and I were her bridesmaids. We hadn’t had time to shop for dresses yet (since they – and I never saw the guy, sorry friend J – just got engaged the week before) so we were looking for wedding appropriate bridesmaid attire in the on board gift shop. J, thankfully, already had her dress.Some memorable moments: Me getting frustrated that nothing fit (stupid baby belly!). Friend A looking super trendy with her poofed hair and pointed-toed stilettos. J debating if we should carry towel monkeys or towel swans down the aisle. And at one point, I think all of our parents were there, way dressed up more than we were.The final bridesmaid outfit decision: hot pink carnival cruise ship tee-shirts in XL with a belt low on our hips and leggings underneath. I can’t remember if J went for the monkeys or the swans, but I bet we looked something like this: Simply stunning.